Growing Up Is Hard to Do
by IngenueForever
Summary: One possible scenario for Deacon and Rayna reuniting after Luke's proposal in the Season 2 Finale. It's a long road- but the result is worth the wait.
1. Chapter 1

**GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO** - Chapter 1- My preference for how the Rayna/Deacon Story unfolds after Rayna's engagement to Luke. This is a first step in creating a path for Rayna and Deacon to reunite in a healthy, long-lasting relationship.

Rayna wakes up, heart beating. She can almost feel Deacon's lips and the ring he put in her hand. The dream seemed way too real. She looks down on her left hand, Luke's ring is still there. '_Stay Strong_' she says to herself.

Luke wakes up.

' Hey sugar.' His kiss was sweet. Very loving and safe, but Rayna couldn't disguise the concerned look on her face. 'You okay?'

'Yes, what a whirl wind. I got some looks last night from Teddy and the girls at the afterparty. I told the girls I would be at the house this afternoon and we would get together after school and talk about things- you know, to reassure them that we're not going to turn their worlds upside down because of our upcoming marriage.'

'Good idea.'

'Did you think about that, Luke, how we'll help the kids walk through this?'

'Well, my kids are older and used to moving around. I thought maybe we'd just move here, or you could talk to Teddy and consider selling the house or renting it and we could buy a place of our own. I'm open. My kids spend most of their time with their mother, anyway. Whatever works best for you and the girls. You'll need to meet my ex, too, I suppose. Huh, hadn't really thought about that one.'- and they both laughed.

'You're a good man, Luke and I'm a lucky woman. I love you.'

'I love you, too**.'**

But Rayna was nervous about the girls. It seems that there was a lot that Luke hadn't thought of when he proposed in front of thousands of people. The girls had already been through so much with the divorce and Deacon and now their family was about to change again. Reality was settling in. She got up and got ready for her meeting with Bucky at the studio to discuss the upcoming tour for her release, but the butterflies in her stomach about her impending talk with the girls would not go away.

Later in the day, Rayna came home to wait for the girls. The voicemail message on her phone was making her nervous. It was from Deacon. She didn't want to listen to it, assuming she was going to get an earful. If Teddy was upset, she could only imagine how upset Deacon would be. She didn't want to let him talk her out of this, she wanted to move forward. She'd promised herself after the accident she would 'save herself' and that's what she was doing. Luke was a good, responsible, man who treated her right. They had so much in common, kids, divorce, and the business. But she was still nervous and something was just eating at her, not letting her fully bask in this moment . 'The Queen of Country just got engaged to the King of Country.' Rayna could see the headlines. This would be great for both of their careers, especially her record. _Oh, she caught herself. Am I really thinking this?_ _Rayna, watch yourself!_ Despite the butterflies, she listened to the message.

'Hey, Ray, wondering if I'm still on for this Friday with Maddie. Suppose congratulations are due. I'm happy for you both. Talk to you soon.'

Relieved, Rayna called Deacon back_._

'Hey'

'Hey, Ray. That was some show last night. How're you doing this morning? You happy?'

'Yes, thank you, Deacon, I am. '

'Have you talked to the girls yet?'

'No, but I'm about to. I know this isn't what they expected. '

Yeah, Maddie was pretty upset last night. I told her we all love her, that you love her, that Luke's a good man and we'll make sure she and Daphne are fine.'

'Wow, you don't know how much I appreciate your support. I thought you'd be made at me. I know this means more change, but we'll all work it out.'

There was silence for a few seconds until Deacon responded**: **'I don't have a right to be mad at you for being happy, Ray. Still on for this Friday?'

' Yes, you can pick up Maddie at 5. '

'k. See you then.

_I don't have a right to be mad at you for being happy._ _Did he really just say that? Am I happy? _Rayna was not certain at all. She hadn't planned on Luke's proposal, and she wasn't sure she was ready for this level of commitment. She knew she loved Luke, but marriage was a whole other deal. Even worse, Rayna was surprised and even disappointed with Deacon's reaction and that scared her moe. She expected him to be upset, to try to talk her out of it. She was starting to wonder if this was a big mistake.

Someone knocks on the door and Rayna answers:

'Teddy what's up?'

Slamming the door behind him, Teddy, was visibly angry.

'Are you serious, Rayna? Have you and Luke thought this out? I bet he hasn't even thought about how this is going to affect our daughters. Asking you in front of a live crowd. Seriously? Could it be more traumatic for them?'

'What about you and Peggy, what about that?'

'That was before Deacon and Maddie, Even before Lamar's death. Rayna, come on. And I didn't announce it in public before talking to the girls.'

'Luke has kids of his own, he understands what's involved. '

'Oh, you mean the boy who leaked Maddie's video? You barely even know his kids or what kind of father Luke is. I don't like this at all. '

Rayna was shaken. She knew Teddy's reaction had some merit, but she didn't want to show any vulnerability right now, not before figuring out exactly what she wanted.

'Well, I'm going to talk to the girls this afternoon. I'll call you after.'

'All right, i'll wait to hear from you later.' (and Teddy leaves).

It was Deacon's night to share at his meeting. He'd made so much headway over the past year- recovering from the accident, getting his career as a solo artist kick-started, getting over a relationship without turning to booze, and the biggest one of all, becoming a father. But it was always this way in the program, two steps forward, three steps back. Feeling like he was starting all over again, figuring out how to truly love someone, how to let go of what he couldn't control. Peeling another layer of the onion.

'It's a funny thing, 'love' and 'humility.' I keep learning more about humility every day, in fact (crowd chuckles). Just recently, I lost the love of my life, _again_. Yeah, you'd think i'd learned the first 2 times (more chuckles), I guess the third time's the charm. Well, this one was different, anyway. This time it was in front of about a million people or so (crowd looks up).

I'm praying, and praying because i know somethin good will come of this. I know God has a plan for me and I know i'm blessed to have family and friends who truly love me, despite myself, and most important, whom I truly love.

I guess that's what i'm really exploring. What is love, really, if I can't be happy for someone else's happiness? And how do I love myself? Ooh, I've never been good at that part. But that's where i'm tryin to go and I'm gonna get there.

But I have to be honest-y'all know we can't make this if we're not honest- it still _hurts_ like hell. A big part of me just wants to make it _feel _better. That's what we drunks are good at right, making it feel better? But i've been doin that for years & it just always lands me in this same mess. So I guess i'm gonna have to do somethin _different_ this time. I'm gonna actually walk through this pain to the other side. I'm gonna let go and trust that God's gonna take me on the right path. Yeah, that's the hardest part. This is a hard one. (sigh) I'm so grateful to have the support of these rooms to help me get there. Thank you.'

It was time for Deacon to pick up Maddie. He wasn't looking forward to seeing Rayna but knew he had to get this over with. In time, they'd learn how to relate in a different way, but it would take time.

'Hey.'

'Hey. Maddie will be down in a minute. Can we talk?'

'Sure.' Here we go Deacon thought. I really don't want to get into this now.

'Teddy is coming down hard on Luke and me about this public engagement, do you think he's right?'

'I don't really think it's my business, Ray. I mean i think it's a bit hard on the girls, but they're strong and know they're loved.'

'Okay, that gives me some perspective, I suppose. Hey, I've been meaning to thank you for backing up my big move against Edge Hill, too. My single is doing great.'

'I do want to talk to you about that, Ray.'

'You don't think I did the right thing?'

'No, I think you did great. That's not it. I want to support your decision to Marry Luke, but I think that means we need to keep our relationship strictly to Maddie, you know what I mean?'

Rayna was both relieved and shocked. She'd wondered why Deacon had been so unemotional about the engagement, but now she could see the sadness in his eyes. At the same time, she wasn't sure what to make of this. Sitting down on the far side of the couch, Rayna took a deep breath and shrugged:

'I guess you're right. Not gonna be easy though, huh? Have I ever told you, you were a great band leader for me, Deacon and you've been a tremendous friend -I'm grateful for that. What I said at your birthday party last year was true- there would be no Rayna James without Deacon Claybourne, and I won't forget that. Ever. You need to know that... and if I recall (Rayna chuckles) we had a lot of fun, too. '

'Yes, we did-wasn't all tears and heartbreak, was it?! Sometime down the road we will probably look back on it all with a smile and a laugh. Wouldn't that be a great thing for a change?' They smiled at each other warmly, with tears welling up in their eyes.

Their relationship sure wasn't all tears and heartbreak. Back in the day Rayna and Deacon didn't just tear up the stage, but everything else too. Their passion for each other and for music was palpable. Even as just friends during Rayna's 13 years marriage with Teddy, they'd had a bond and an intimacy that even many married couples could only hope for.

But suddenly, for the first time, Rayna was beginning to realize her relationship with Deacon was going to have to change. Deacon was right. If her marriage with Luke was going to succeed, somehow she was going to need to stop confiding so much in Deacon. If she were being honest, wasn't this the real reason her relationship with Teddy didn't work? She always had Deacon. Lord, so this is what it really means to _grow up_, Rayna thought.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Rayna felt Deacon's hand behind her head as he gently wiped the tears from her face with his fingers.

'Common now, Ray. We knew this day might come. It wasn't what I was hoping for, it wasn't what I would've chosen, but you have made this decision and _I_..._we'_ need to respect that. We need to be adults about this. It's not just about us anymore, it's about Maddie, Daphne,...'

Rayna looked down and paused for a moment. So many emotions that had been burried for so long were rushing forward in her mind like rapids of water. It was time.

'Ray, what is it?'

Taking Deacon's hand into hers:

'It's my turn, Deacon. You're not the only one who's had some growin' up to do. That afternoon at the Fort Campbell concert when you told me you were grateful that i'd taken such good care of Maddie, well, it lifted a burden so big on my shoulders you'll never know. It was like I could breath again. I'm so grateful for that. Now I need to tell you something. '

Rayna, barely able to keep herself from sobbing, continued:

' I am truly sorry for not telling you myself about Maddie. It was wrong, so wrong, that you didn't hear that from me. It was wrong that I didn't tell you before that night when I came to your house last year. I did protect Maddie for years, and I don't blame myself now for that, thank God, but I was wrong not to tell you myself and to get close to you again without telling you. I wasn't fair to you. I'd said I wanted to do right by you, but that was wrong. And I'm so, so very sorry for that. I can't help but think if i'd told you myself, maybe we'd be in a different place right now.'

Deacon, shaking his head slightly and biting his lip moved closer to Rayna and put his hands on her harms** : **

'Ray, Ray, look at me. Thank you for that but I want you to listen to me now. I truly believe this, I couldn't see it before. I truly think God has a plan for us. For some reason, it was meant to be this way. Sometimes we have to fall hard before we can pick ourselves back up. I'm so grateful to God that you lived and that I now know that i'll never hurt someone like that again. I know God has a plan for me, that I need to be strong for my family and for myself. I didn't know that before. I have more to live for now than I ever have before and I'm so grateful for that.'

Smiling through her tears, Rayna looked up at Deacon. It took every fiber of strength for Deacon not to lean in, take her in his arms and kiss her passionately. But instead, he put his arms around her and they shared a warm, long embrace. They could hear footsteps rumbling upstairs. Maddie would be down any minute.

'Okay, now, we best get ourselves together here before Maddie comes down,' Deacon added. They both chuckled a bit and started to let each other go, wiping away their tears. They stood up, clasped hands for a short moment, and looked at other with a calmness and contentment they'd never experienced before,

Maddie came down the stairs.

'Hey, Dad! You ready? '

'Uh, yep. '

'Ok , could you _please_ get me out of here? '

'Oh boy, all right, i'll bring her back Sunday afternoon- by five right?'

'Five is fine. Rayna leaned over and whispered 'Unless you wanna keep her for the entire next year?'

Deacon smiled and followed Maddie out to his truck.


	2. Chapter 2

Growing Up Is Hard to Do: Chapter 2.

_Sitting on your door step, waitin on your call, puttin in the time, ain't gonna do it no more...'_

'Ooh, I like that one. Little different than your usual. It's got a little edge.'

'Think so, Scarlett?'

'Yeah. It's good.'

'Well, i hope Carrie Underwood likes it 'cause she's asked me to write some more for her next album.'

'Seriously? Is that why you were meetin' with Kelly Sayler last week?'

'How'd you know about that?'

'Word get's around. '

'Hm. Yep. Looks like Carrie wants me to fill in on guitar and play few duets together at some upcomin shows, too. Should help boost sales of my album.'

'Well, well, things are lookin up, Deac! Hey, I been meaning to tell you that i'm proud of you.'

'For what?'

'You know, for keepin it together through this whole Rayna thing. I know you haven't been a couple for a long time, but I this must still be hard for you.'

(Big sigh) 'Keepin myself as busy as I can. Pouring in all into this guitar.'

'Well, it's workin for you. Hey, I think i've got a new place only about a mile from here. I can move in first of the month, and that way you won't have to worry about space for Maddie.'

'That's great- but you do know I'll always have room here.'

'Thank you, UncleDeacon. Not sure what I would've done without you this year. I think Maddie's a lucky girl to have you in her life .' (she kisses him on the cheek).

'Well, now that's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a long time. I'm sure glad you decided to stick around Nashville. You gonna need help movin?'

'Nah, I've barely unpacked as it is. I'll just keep it that way. Is Maddie coming over again this weekend? '

'Yeah. Should be interesting.'

'Oh yeah? '

'She sure is a teenager. Think my honeymoon as 'Deacon-the-wonder-dad' is over. We sure had it out last weekend. She is so mad about this Luke thing. She's mad at me for not makin it better. I think her last dagger was 'well, maybe if you hadn't been so busy drinkin all those years I wouldn't be in this situation.'

'Ouch.'

'You can say that again. Cause in a way, she's right. But nothin I can do about that now. just be here and help her through it.'

'Well, I'm not a mom, but doesn't seem like the smartest move to me. '

'You're a wise young woman, Scarlett.' They both smiled.

Deacon didn't think it was such a smart move for Rayna to marry Luke either. It was very hard on the girls, who already had a complicated family situation. Sometimes, in fact, it made him angry. Why would she just jump into something like this? Why the rush? Then again, she really didn't have much of a choice. He really hadn't seen it coming and he didn't think Rayna had either. She and Luke had been together for less than a year- Rayna had barely been divorced two years. Just seemed too soon. And the thought of never having a chance to be with her again- he couldn't go there. That was dangerous territory. Nope, he wasn't gonna put himself in the middle of this one. Rayna was going to have to figure this out on her own and he would help Maddie the best he could and focus on his music. That would have to be enough to keep him busy...for now.

'Hi, sugar!'

'Hello!' Luke planted a big kiss on Rayna. They hadn't seen each other in a few days.

'Ah, so good to see you. mmmm. Love those sweet kisses.'

'Darlin, you get these for the rest of your life.'

'I'm lookin forward to it!'

'So, how 'bout we do some planning tonight, since the kids won't be back till late.'

'Sounds good'

'Let's think of the date. You were thinking June next year.'

'Yes, that's my favorite month.'

'Okay, let me look at my calendar. Damn, it's Jenny's highschool graduation and we've got family comin into town. I think that might make June pretty difficult- trying to get everyone out here twice. But let me think about that.'

'Well, then May. I love May, we can make it more spring-like. '

'Darlin, your tour won't be over till mid April.'

'I completely forgot. '

'Okay, we may need to push back a bit till the fall.'

'August before school starts?'

'Got it! Let's both look at our calendars- and check with family over the next week.'

'Perfect. I wanted to talk to you about something else too, get your opinion. I know this is crazy, but I want to hire Will.'

No w hold on there, I believe anyone in American should love who they want, honey, but that's suicide for Highway 65.'

'Yeah, if I put him on the stage, but what if I just had him write some songs, sing backup, help with the crew, just to keep him in the business until all the hoopla dies down?'

'You're feelin guilty, aren't you?'

'Yes, a little, but I really feel this is the right thing to do. What's happening to him is not right. What you'd think people would judge him for is draggin that poor girl into this, but you and I both know, that's not what this is about. He's getting blackballed.'

'I think you're crazy on this one. You better think real hard on this.'

What Rayna really wanted to do was talk to Deacon. They had similar minds on these types of issues and she'd know whether or not she was off base. But Deacon didn't want her to confide in him anymore and she didn't think Luke would like that much, either. It was almost every day now, that some thought came across Rayna's mind and she'd want to call Deacon. She always knew they'd had a close relationship, but she hadn't realized how much she'd relied on him. She heard the door open.

'Hey, Mom. '

'Hi, Honey, you're home early. I thought you had choir practice till 5?'

'We were supposed to, but we aced rehearsal so we got out early. Ellie's mom drove us home.'

'Well, great then. You still have homework to do?'

'Yeah. What are you two doing? I thought Luke wasn't coming over till the weekend?'

'Honey, Luke is right here and you can say hello, with the manners I raised you up with. '

'Hi, Luke.'

'We're working on wedding dates, maybe next August.'

'August? August is the big folk festival that Daphne and I are signed up in. You just never talk to me before making any of these decisions. Just like the engagement. I hate this! I hate you!'

'Now Maddie.'

'No, Mom! Is this how it's always going to be now?'

Rayna had never seen Maddie so angry.

'Rayna, you just gonna let her get away with that? Not in my household. My boy acts like that and he's grounded for a week.'

'Come on, Luke, we need to cut Maddie some slack. Her life's been turned upside down more than once this year already. And she is right, we didn't talk to her or Daphne or your kids for that matter before getting engaged.'

'Well, I don't run my family that way. That's the problem with families these days- always working around your kids. Kids need to adapt- they do anyway. '

Luke saw the look of disapproval on Rayna's face. He was just starting to interpret Rayna's looks. He hadn't seen this one before but he could tell he wasn't going to win this battle tonight.

'But, hey, they're not my girls, and they are wonderful girls and you're a wonderful mother, so you're right, I'll just stay out of this one.'

'Thank you.'

Luke put his arms around her again and started kissing Rayna's neck. She was ready for an intimate night with Luke. It had been a while. But with Maddie home, she felt uncomfortable. It was still too soon.

'Honey, I do miss you, but I think we need to wait 'till the girls aren't home or at least until the dust settles more. I know, how 'bout I come over to your place during the day tomorrow. Your son's not here until the weekend right?'

'That sounds perfect. I can break for lunch. Noon?'

'Perfect.'


	3. Chapter 3

Growing Up, Chapter 3

Deacon walked into the restaurant looking for the Arista Records exec he'd met with a few times before to discuss writing some songs for a few artists, including Carrie Underwood. Deacon's career continued to gain momentum . He'd been featured in several Nashville magazines, even a nod from Rolling Stone that did a short feature on his career as a top guitarist, touching upon his short stint with rock & roll a few years back.

Finally, he spotted her. She was hard to miss, a very good looking brunette who'd figured out a way to combine her city smarts with just enough charm to get the job done in a town like Nashville. He'd noticed that it didn't hurt that she filled out her suit so well, either.

'Thanks for meeting me today, Deacon. '

'Sure, my pleasure.' The waiter wanted to take their order.

'What are you havin?'

'I always get the crab cakes here. They're great.'

'Okay, make that two and some iced tea, please. Carrie like's the songs?'

'She loves them. She wants you to come down next month to rehearse. '

I'll look forward to it. Do you have the contract?

'Here it is. Take a look. If you can get it to us by the weekend, that would be great.' Deacon took the envelope, took a quick glance at the papers inside to make sure everything was there.

'Have to say, Deacon, the songs you're putting out now are a little different, edgier. I like them, but I keep wondering what inspired the change?'

'I don't know, guess you'd say I have some hidden talents.' Deacon chuckled and saw Kelly's eye brows raise and realized that might've come out wrong. ' I guess I'm just changin things up. Growin up. Gotta explore all sides of life, you know?'

'I do know. How's that woman you were seeing, Megan?'

'Now that's a funny question. We haven't been together for a while now. Just didn't work out.' Jokingly and with a wink, Deacon added, ' You got something on your mind, Kelly? You worried about somethin? Readin too many gossip columns?' Deacon was a little concerned about the tabloid press over Rayna's divorce last year. He hadn't gotten much flack for that- most people in the business were used to trash slinging and didn't pay much mind. He didn't anticipate Kelly's response.

'No,no. I just remember last time we talked you were in a pretty serious relationship. I was just thinking that maybe if you're still in Atlanta after the festival, we could have lunch or dinner some time. I didn't want to step on anyone's toes.'

Deacon was really surprised by this. He'd been staying on the down- low, vowing off women for a while. Rayna was always on the back of his mind, despite all his best efforts, and he didn't want to hurt someone else again. He still remembered that look on Stacy's face when he had to tell her he was back with Rayna. He knew all too well how it felt to be on that side of things. Maybe that's why he hadn't caught any signals from Kelly. That wasn't usually a problem for him, but this time he was caught off guard. Maybe it was time for him to get back in the saddle. Even so, he was gonna do things differently this time. _Dates._ His sponsor always talked about _dates_. He was making himself familiar with that term. _I'm gonna go on dates, at least a few dates with any woman before sleeping with her. _His sponsor said more than once: "Deacon you want a relationship that works, you start by gettin to know someone a little first. Sex comes later. And the sex will be better, too, trust me." Deacon decided to go for it.

'That would be nice, Kelly.' Deacon smiled.

'Great, let's stay in touch. In the meantime, I'll think of something fun for us to do that weekend in Atlanta.' Kelly pushed over the salt and pepper shakers and put her hand on his hand. Deacon actually blushed a little.

'Hi, Deacon! '

'Rayna, hi darlin.' Deacon pulled his hand out from under Kelly's and stood up clumsily, knocking his knee on the table leg. He leaned over and kissed Rayna on the cheek. 'Rayna, hey. Oh, have you met Kelly Sayler?'

Rayna acted surprised, as if she hadn't just spent the last few minutes watching them and thinking about how she would casually run into them at the table . 'Kelly, I've heard such good things about you. Nice to meet you. How's Carrie doin?'

'She's great. That's why Deacon and I are here, Deacon's writing some music for her. They're gonna perform together in Columbia and at the Atlanta festival, too.'

'Wow, that's great! Wait, in Atlanta? I'll be there. '

'You and Deacon should perform together. Always a crowd pleaser. Or maybe you could get your daughter to perform. There might still be space to fit in another act. Let me know if you want me to check.'

'Yeah, let's talk about that, Deacon.' She gave Deacon a stark disapproving flash with her eyes. Rayna had to squash that one quickly.

'Speakin' of good news, I hear you and Luke Wheeler are getting married. Congratulations!"

'Thank you.'

'When's the big day?'

Rayna's expression changed a little. She looked a little bewildered. Everyone was asking her this question and she was actually a little embarrassed. 'Oh, we haven't set the date yet. Between tour, kids schedules, family engagements, we're having a hard time pinning one down.'

'I can only imagine with two people as busy as you and Luke.'

'Well, I see Bucky over there waiting for me, so i'll be on my way. Have a great afternoon. Oh, Deacon, call me about Maddie next weekend, kay?'

'Sure.' Deacon noticed by the expression on her face that Rayna was a little uncomfortable with the question about the wedding date. Even he was surprised Rayna and Luke still hadn't set a date. It had been a few months. For all it's glitter and glitz, Nashville was still a small town. People would start talking. He sensed something was up.

'Bucky, I just learned Deacon's gonna play with Carrie at the Atlanta Festival.'

'Oh, is that Kelly Sayler over there talking to Deac? '

'Yeah. they were doing a little more than just talkin if you ask me. '

'Well, Rayna, that's not really your business anymore right? '

'I know. Okay, so where were we?'

But Rayna wasn't comfortable with that at all. She kept trying to look over and see whether they were holding hands again. Deacon and Kelly Sayler? A city girl no less. She suddenly felt very warm and her heart started beating faster. She could feel sweat pearling up on her neck_. Damn, Rayna, _she thought to herself_. You need to let him go. _

'Bucky, can you excuse me, I need to use the restroom.' The color drained from Rayna's face.

'Sure, Rayna.' Bucky looked concerned. 'You okay?'

'Yeah, I'll be right back.'

But she wasn't okay. This was the second time she'd had a minor panic attack in the last month. The first time was after she and Maddie argued over the wedding date in August. She couldn't fall asleep that night. She kept waking up in sweats with her heart beating fast. Now she was feeling the same way. Why did Deacon effect her that way? For 13 years she kept her feelings for him under control, why couldn't she do that now? She finally had the chance to start over and yet her life seemed to be spinning out of control.

'Well, that was fun finally meeting Rayna James for the first time. I've been a fan for years now. She's pretty fabulous in person, too.'

'Yes, that she is.' Deacon realized it was already 1:30 and he had to be at the recording studio at 2. ' I'm sorry, Kelly, but I have to run to a 2o'clock appointment. It was great seeing you.'

'I'll call to confirm I got the signed papers.'

'Sounds good. Bye, darlin'.' They both stood up, Deacon touched Kelly's arm and gave her a soft kiss on the cheek. He was relieved to have an excuse to the leave the restaurant. He was not comfortable sitting there with Kelly and Rayna just a few tables over.


	4. Growing Up is Hard to Do Chapter 4

Growing Up is Hard to Do Chapter 4.

Rayna just got off the phone with Sheriff Tom Ramsey about the threatening letters that had been coming in with the fan mail over the past few months. There were always a few strange letters in the mix and always a few nasty ones, but this time there was a threat letter coming in almost weekly, and ostensibly from the same person. The Sheriff suggested they hold a meeting with Rayna, Teddy and Deacon asap to discuss a plan of action. Rayna got off the phone and immediately called Teddy.

'Hi, Teddy. Listen, I just got off the phone with Sheriff Tom to talk about those nasty letters we keep getting in the mail. He wants us to take extra precautions. Actually he wants to meet with us and Deacon as soon as possible to discuss. Any chance you can come over today? Tom can actually be here for lunch, at 12noon.'

'Actually, I can. My 12 O'clock just cancelled. I'll be there.'

'Okay, I'll call Deacon and see if he can make it, but let's plan on meeting here at noon, regardless.'

Rayna immediately called Deacon.

'Hey Ray.'

' Hey, is there any chance you're free to come over here for lunch today at noon to meet with me, Teddy and Sheriff Tom Ramsey about these nasty threats we've been getting in the mail? He wants to discuss a plan of action."

'Wow, I guess that means he doesn't think they're just pranks anymore. I'll move around a few things and be there at noon. This is too important for me to miss. I'll be there... Deacon hesitated, because he could hear the fear in Rayna's voice. 'And hey, you holdin up okay? '

'I'm tryin not to be scared for the girls' sakes, but honestly, this is starting make me very nervous.'

'All right, well, hang in there and let's talk to the Sheriff and see what he wants us to do.' Of course, Deacon wanted to run over there and give Rayna a big hug, let her know he would be there for them. He could tell immediately she was worried. Heck, what he really wanted to do was stay over there until this died down. Rayna was still living there alone with the girls, Luke was on a short tour till the weekend, and he was starting to get concerned himself. Trying to figure out this line between being co-parents of Maddie but not being overly involved with each other was a tough one to figure out. It was almost as if there was no getting around it.

'Hey, on a happier note, I meant to tell you how glad I am about all that's going on with you and your album. It's doing even better than you'd expected!'

'Yeah, thanks.'

'And that Kelly Sayler sure does good work, doesn't she? Is she as good as I hear she is?'

'Interesting question, Ray." Deacon could tell Rayna was digging for a reaction. He decided not to take the bait. 'She is.' Deacon realized Rayna must have seen them holding hands at the table. Good grief.

"Oh, also I talked to Maddie and it didn't seem like you had anything special planned this weekend, so I was hoping maybe we could switch? Do you mind if Maddie stays with me this week and you take her next? Then when I leave for tour she'll be with Teddy. Luke's got a family get together this weekend and we're hoping all of the kids can hang a little. They need to get to know each other more.'

'I think that's fine. Wow, from what Maddie's told me so far, that sounds like quite the undertaking. Good luck with that. ' Deacon replied flippantly.

'Yeah, thanks. See you in a little while.' _Ouch_, _Touche._ Rayna chuckled and shook her head. She didn't miss the sarcasm in Deacon's voice either.

Deacon tried to arrive as late as he could to the meeting. He wanted to spend as little time with Teddy as possible. There was still quite a bit of tension between them over the whole Megan situation. Deacon got over Megan faster than he thought he would. Not drowning himself in booze probably helped. He also realized there were a lot of problems in their relationship to begin with. It was never going to work, long term. Yet her betrayal by sleeping with Teddy just burned. That man was always taking what he pleased, it seemed, tearing Deacon's heart open wider, just for the fun of it. He wasn't sure what he could ever do to get Teddy off his back, other than be grateful for all he'd done to raise Maddie as well as he did. When Deacon arrived, Teddy, Rayna and the Sheriff had just started talking.

Rayna put out a nice platter of sandwiches and everyone took a seat in the family area near the kitchen. Sheriff Tom reviewed the details about the letters and his concerns about why this might be more than just a prank. He suggested the services of a local private investigator and said the Sheriff's department would continue to monitor and add extra surveillance, within their means. The gated community paid for its own security staff, and the Sheriff suggested Rayna look into getting them to provide additional service, as well. The Sheriff had already updated the security company with its findings.

Before leaving the Sheriff added, 'I think you should all consider adding a high-tech security system to your homes, too. Ms. James, yours could use some upgrading, Mayor Conrad's should be fine. Mr. Claybourne, you should consider adding one to your home, too, just to be on the safe side.'

Deacon raised his eyebrows and took a deep breath. All of this information was pretty intense. In fact everyone was on edge, Deacon, Rayna, and Teddy.

'Okay, if you really think that's necessary, then i'll put one in. You recommend a particular company?'

'I've left that info with the other pamphlets on the counter. '

'We can pay for that if that would be helpful, Deacon.' Teddy couldn't resist the power play.

'That's very thoughtful of you, Teddy, but it's really not a problem,' Deacon replied, with a sneer, a little annoyed by the obvious insult. He wasn't the "king" of country music, but he did quite well for himself, as Teddy was well aware.

'Well, you've got enough to wrap your heads around, so i'm gonna leave you with that information. Here's my card and my number. Don't hesitate to call me anytime with any questions or if you see anything suspicious. If I don't answer the calls roll to one of my deputies. Someone is always available, so really, don't hesitate. We can be here in a few minutes flat. You might give those numbers to your daughters, as well. Again, this very likely could be nothing. We haven't heard any reports of any strange activity in the neighborhood here, or near any of your locations, Mayor Conrad and Mr. Claybourne. But when these things pop up, as they do from time to time with celebrities like yourselves, well, it's best to be proactive. You just never know. '

'Thank you, Sheriff. ' Rayna led the Sheriff to the door and walked back to look at the materials.

' Well, if that wasn't one of the most frightening and intense conversations of my life right there,' Rayna added. Both Teddy and Deacon nodded in agreement.

Deacon looked at both Rayna and Teddy. 'So how do we tell the girls.'

'Rayna and I can handle that. Rayna, I can come back around 5pm and we can have a family discussion. Does that work?' Deacon was a little frustrated by being left out. He yearned for a time when it might be him and Rayna leading the 'family' discussions, but that wasn't in the cards at the moment and this was a very serious matter, so he left it alone. Having them all there might seem overly alarming to the girls, so perhaps this was best anyway. He would talk to Maddie sometime on his own.

Rayna could see Deacon was agitated and she was about to chime in, when Deacon replied: 'All right then. That sounds like a good plan. Oh, and uh, good luck this weekend, Ray.' Deacon added, with a big smile.

'Ha, ha!' Rayna chuckled.

'What's this weekend?' Teddy asked.

'Oh, Luke's ex-wife is hosting a big birthday party for Luke's daughter and we're all heading over there on Saturday.'

'Ahh, yes. Maddie's told me about Luke's daughter. Sounds almost scarier than these letters we've been getting.' Teddy looked at Deacon and they both laughed.

'Gee, thanks for all the support, guys. Now get! I gotta about a million calls to make before the girls get home.' Rayna walked them to the door and settled back down at her counter. She quickly perused the pamplets left by Sheriff Tom and then went back to her work. _I can't think about all that stuff right now or I'll never get any work done. Later._

On Saturday morning, Luke came driving up early, all ready for the trip out to the country for his daughter's party.

Hey, anybody home? Luke shouted as he entered the house.

Daphne ran up, 'Hi, Luke!' and gave him a hug.

'Well that sure is a nice greeting! Where's your momma and sister?'

'They're up getting ready. It takes them forever!'

'I bet, huh?' Luke smiled. ' Go tell them we have to leave in about five minutes. I'm all ready.'

Okay, Luke.' and Daphne ran upstairs.

'Mom, Lukes here.'

_Oh, darn, Rayna thought. I don't think I'll ever be ready for this one. _ She put another clip in her hair and said to herself _well, this will have to do_. 'Coming! Maddie, you ready?'

'If I must be.'

'Yep, common now. Listen, I promise I'll get you tickets to that concert next week if you show some good manners and try to enjoy yourself today. Deal?'

'Deal. 'Maddie smiled. 'Let's make the best of it.

'Good girl! Rayna smiled, relieved that Maddie wasn't gone put up a battle .

'Hey there!

'Hi, Gorgeous!' Rayna walked over and gave Luke a hug and quick kiss on the lips.

'Oooh, lookin forward to more of that later'

'Aha. I guess we gotta go. Let's go girls.'

They finally arrived at the party. Luke's wife hosted the party on her 30-acre farm house. It was gorgeous. Full outdoor entertainment center, beautiful stables. They had a live band and there must've been over 100 people there. _All for a 16-year old girl, Rayna thought. My goodness, what will they do when she turns 21?_

The girls jumped out of the car. 'Can we go see the horses mom?' Daphne asked. 'Sure, girls, Just don't go far. ' She turned to Luke L'et's find Courtney and Colt and say hello.

Luke turned and saw his ex-wife talking with some close friends, 'There's Jenny. Hi, Jenny.!"

'Why, this must be the infamous Rayna James! Well, you look as good in person as you do in all those papers! So great to meet you! Come, have a drink. I'll introduce you to some friends. Luke's told me all about the big wedding plans- sounds like it's going to be a huge event ! We can't wait... Where are the kids?"

'They'll be here in a minute. They went to pet the ponies.'

'Oh, good. Courtney, honey, come say hello!'

'Hi, Rayna.'

'Hi, Courtney. ' Rayna gave Courtney a little kiss on the cheek. Rayna had never seen a girl so dolled up for 16. She'd been in several beauty pageants and it showed. Her hair was bleached, her nails too long, she had too much makeup on and too much jewelry. She couldn't have been more different than Maddie. No wonder they didn't get along. Luke's eye's sure lit up around her though.

'Aint she just a beauty, Rayna? How are you, darlin, you enjoying your sweet 16?'

'Yes, daddy, I sure am. '

'Great, now show us around, beautiful. I want to introduce my bride to be.'

Rayna was introduced to Jenny's husband, several cousins, several neighbors and friends from their club. These were the type of people her daddy used to socialize with- and it never was her cup of tea. Luke was eating it up, though. He liked being the center of attention. He liked both of them being at the center of attention, in fact.

The girls finally found them. They ended up spending most of the afternoon with Colt, listening to music and playing with the keyboards. They finally came down later to dance to the band. At least the music was good. Courtney showed Maddie her room, her riding trophies and talked all about her pageant ribbons. Maddie showed her some videos of her and Daphne singing. Courtney thought they were just 'adorable' but quickly moved on to other subjects. After thirty minutes, Maddie couldn't wait to go back home.

On the ride home the girls fell fast asleep. Rayna wanted to talk to Luke. 'That sure is a beautiful home, Luke. Did you all live there together?

'We moved there just a few years before the divorce. Loved that place, though. Beautiful spot, great people.'

'Yeah. Now what is this I hear about 'big wedding' plans from Jenny? I thought we'd decided on just a small gathering of close friends and family? '

'I used to think that way, but come 'on, I think we should make this a big celebration. Gary 'll bring the boys, Bryan will come sing, we'll make it a big ho-down. We could even have it at the farm.'

'What, you're serious?'

'Yes, of course I am!' Luke responded, a little surprised.

'I don't know, I've got to think about that. '

'Sugar, it wouldn't be bad for Highway 65 either.'

'Or Edgehill for that matter,' Rayna added.

'Or Edgehill, sure.'

'All right, I'll think about it. But no promises. 'Luke held the steering will with his left hand and put his right hand on Rayna's lap and rubbed her leg. She leaned her head over onto his shoulder and closed her eyes, but her head was spinning.

The next morning, Rayna woke up before everyone else and went downstairs to make coffee. There was a message on her cell from Tandy. 'Call me when you can. I'm dying to hear about the party yesterday.'

'Hey, Tandy.'

'Hi, so how was it?!

'Oh, gosh, it's hard to even explain. The farm is just gorgeous. It's huge, of course, just a beautiful piece of property. Jenny seemed nice. She reminded me of Marylynn.'

'Oh, you mean a little tacky? '

'I don't know, just a little over the top. The kids did okay. Maddie actually spent time with Courtney. I'm sure she loved hearing all about the beauty pageants.'

'Oh, my gosh! Poor Maddie. ' Tandy laughed.

'Yeah, but the worst thing was when I found out Luke actually wants a huge wedding. He totally pulled a 180 on me. He wants the Rascal Flats to sing and bring Luke Bryan along. And he wants to invite everyone under the sun. Just the opposite of what I was looking forward to.'

'You gettin wedding jitters already, Rayna?'

'I wish. Unfortunately, i think it's more than that. I think I really don't know Luke that well at all.'

'Not sure what you expected, I mean when you got engaged you'd known each other for less than a year and much of that time you were both on the road. ' Rayna knew Tandy was right. She was feeling overwhelmed and confused. 'What do you want to do?'

'I don't know, but I don't think we're ready to get married.'

'Oh my. Well, I have to go, i'm late for church. Call me later...anytime if you want to talk this over.'

'All right. Thanks.' Rayna put the phone down and sighed. She was going to have to figure out how to start this conversation with Luke. He wasn't going to like it. They weren't going to get any time alone today, and Luke had to leave before dinner, so they might not get more time alone for a few more weeks and by then Rayna would be back on tour, too. Rayna decided they should just all enjoy the day and she would buy herself some time to figure this out.


	5. Chapter 5

Growing Up Is Hard to Do Chapter 5 -(Or Just give me that wrong song - take 2)

This would be the first time in a long time Deacon was playing on a big stage without either Rayna or Juliette . Rayna was proud of Deacon for working his way up. It was about time. He had so much talent. Maybe he was holding himself back all these years.

Rayna didn't usually do this, but tonight she was going to stand in the guest box and watch the performance. She was excited for Deacon. She'd heard that the new single was good. She was very curious. Juliette came over and stood next to her. 'This should be interestin.' 'Yep,' Rayna replied. 'Pretty excited for Deacon." Rayna smiled. Juliette agreed, to Rayna's surprise. 'As much as I hate to admit it, you're right. Good for him.'

Carrie Underwood comes on stage for her last song of the night.

'I'm gonna close out the night with an artist i've admired for a long time, Mr. Deacon Claybourne. In fact, he wrote this song just for tonight. Let's hjt it!'

_'Sitting on your front step, waitin on your call, puttin in the time, ain't gonna do it no more...'_

_Waitin in the back seat, openin your door, standin in your shadow always wantin some more_

_She can't erase what we had... It's just the meaning of madness.. We do it over again...we can't erase what it meant (GDAD)_

_'Sitting on your front step, waitin on your call, puttin in the time, what the hell was it for?..'_

Juliette, trying to shout over the speakers, 'Wow, totally edgy. No kiddin, that rock tour last year did rub off on Deacon. Always wondered about that. I'm diggin this!'

'It is good' Rayna replied, watching, dazzled, and completely shocked.

'No, it's great, Rayna, you kiddin?' Juliette looked at her with surprise.

Rayna thought it would've been a great song, if it hadn't been about her.

The crowd went wild. Deacon had such a blast. He hadn't had that much fun since he and Rayna last played a few years ago. How ironic he thought. Carrie was a doll and her crew was fantastic. They all played off each other all night. The energy was amazing.

'Killer tune, Deacon. Didn't know you had that in you.'

'I guess that's a compliment, Juliette. '

'It certainly is. Let's write some more after the tour!'

'All right, we'll talk.'

Everyone was coming up to him letting him know how the song rocked. Then, from the corner of his eye he saw Rayna standing there, looking furious. She walked over to him and he knew right away this was going to be bad.

'Can we talk please?' They moved into a nearby storage room.

'I can't believe you put that out there for everyone to hear! Tell me how you really feel, why don't you?'

'Rayna, it's just a song.'

'Yeah, just a song, Deacon. Just a song, my ass.'

Deacon started to pace, his energy level rising. Finally he turned to Rayna. 'Okay. All right, if this is how you want to do it. Yeah, that is how I feel. I don't think you know what you're doin with Luke Wheeler. Good, I said it, you happy?! I just don't. You're two completely different people. Does it change anything? And yes, I've finally gotten some perspective on us too, Rayna. Kinda stinks lookin at both sides of things, doesn't it?'

'Jesus, Deacon. What happened to the "this is where we're supposed to be" perspective.'

'This is where we're supposed to be. I'm just seein things more clearly now and, well... it made for a damn good song.'

Silence, dead silence. Rayna put her hand over her mouth. Deacon could see her eyes tearing up.

'Ray, common, don't cry. It's just a song.'

Rayna turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her. Deacon hit the wall with his hand "Damn it!' he yelled. He paced some more, rubbing his hands through his hair as he often did when he was upset. He couldn't stand to see her cry. It brought him right back to every time he'd hurt her , every time he fell off the wagon and she'd have to take him to rehab again. Every time he knew he'd let her down. It was like a punch to his gut.

Rayna stormed back to her dressing room, getting angrier by the minute until her anger turned to deep, deep sorrow. She didn't even know why and then it occurred to her. She missed him. Not Luke, but Deacon. She missed performing with him. She missed holding his hand and hearing his soothing, sexy voice tell her it would be okay. She missed his kisses that melted her to her core. She couldn't really talk to Luke like she could with Deacon. She and Luke even tried writing songs together, but they always got stuck. She would pretend she was enjoying herself, but it wasn't the same.

And this wedding. It kept getting bigger and bigger, like they had something to prove to the whole world. Big church, bigger party, big band, lots of country music stars and lots of Luke's family that she'd never met before. She wanted a small ceremony in a farm house with an intimate setting and only close friends and family, but Luke would have nothing to do with that. Rayna could not understand why Luke needed everything to be so big. Sometimes she even thought he was still trying to prove something. That he still didn't really believe they belonged together, or that Rayna truly chose him. Trouble was, she didn't really believe it either. Deacon was right, they were two very different people.

She heard a knock on her door, grabbed some tissue, sat down in front of the mirror and quickly cleaned herself up.

'Rayna, let me in? Common, let me come in, Ray, let's talk about this. I don't want to leave with you so upset.'

Rayna opened the door and Deacon could see she'd been crying.

'Hey, now.'

He put his hands on his hips and looked down at Rayna with his sweet baby blues and that irresistible puppy dog expression that Rayna never could resist .

'Look, it's just a song, Ray. Don't read into it too much. It's about a lot a things, not just us. Look, i'm sorry I hurt you.'

'This is hard, Deacon, harder than i'd realized it would be. I don't want us to be like this.' Deacon knew exactly what she meant.

'I know, I know, sweetie, I know.' He reached his hands down to help her stand up. Deacon stepped closer to wipe away her tears.

'It's okay, it'll be okay. We'll get through this, okay now?' Rayna calmed herself, 'I'm okay,' she replied back, softly.

He kissed her on her forehead adding 'okay, i'm gonna go now...' and started to pull away to leave, but Rayna held onto his arm and pulled him right back in until he was about three inches from her face, Deacon was confused for a moment until Rayna looked at him with a longing he hadn't seen since before the accident. It was a look he knew well. A look he loved but wasn't sure he'd ever see again. Their eyes locked and he leaned in and kissed her gently, but she put her hands behind his neck and pulled him closer. It was still there- the heat, the butterflies, the electricity. All the things she didn't experience with Luke.

Deacon picked her up, sat her on the table, his hand moving up the back of her blouse. Then he started to slow down. He gently pulled Rayna back onto the floor so they were looking right at each other. Rayna looked up at him.

'Ray,' Deacon whispered between kisses, 'this isn't a good idea.' Rayna was still kissing his neck. Then he put his arms on her shoulders and pushed his head back a bit.

'Rayna, you know I want you, and we could go down this path so easily. But if you have something to work out with Luke, you need to do that first.'

Rayna knew Deacon was right, and she stepped back. 'Okay, we promised we'd be adults about this, didn't we. '

'Yes. Ray, you're still wearing his ring.' Rayna saw the sadness again in his eyes. This isn't fair to him. She would have to make a choice. But there really wasn't a choice to make, and she knew it. They'd been together since she was teenager and they'd probably be together forever. They kissed a few more times before he forced himself to let go.

'All right, Ray. I've gotta go. I'll see you at Juliette's party next week. You can call me anytime, if you want to talk.'

'Okay then.' And like so many other times over the years, they held hands to comfort each other, just a for a moment, and then went their separate ways.

Deacon closed the door and then took a deep breath. Despite the best intentions, the meetings, working with his sponsor, trying to date again, wherever he went, there they were. Deacon and Rayna together again. God, he wanted her so badly. He hadn't even let his mind go there since Rayna's engagement, but he was right back there again. It was such a hard place to recover from. He wondered if she would actually break it off with Luke or if she was just testing the water. But he knew one thing. He still loved that woman like no other and now that they shared a child together, he wasn't sure there was anything he could or wanted to do about that.


	6. Chapter 6

Growing Up is Hard to Do Chapter Six: Blood is Thicker than Water

Rayna felt confident that the party was turning out to be a big hit. Juliette had really bounced back from last year's troubles since the "I don't believe in God' video that went south. Her performance at Fort Campbell with Luke really bolstered her image and it was time to start promoting a new single and eventually her next album. Everyone was happy, and Juliette was talking up a storm, charming even the least of her admirers.

Rayna stood next to Bucky, 'She's on her best behavior tonight."

'I'll say', Bucky responded. 'So far so good. '

'Yep. '

'Hey, don't mean to pry but you've been a little out of sorts lately. Everything okay with you and Luke?' Bucky had been a little concerned about their engagement. Bucky respected Rayna's privacy, but it was a fine line between privacy and business in today's world, and it was best not to be caught off guard. With good news that wasn't so bad, but bad news had to be managed.

Rayna shrugged. 'I don't know, Bucky. We'll see. I'll keep you posted.'

'That's good to know. Rayna, you know I respect your privacy, but keep in mind that Luke Wheeler is a powerful person in the business.'

'It's not like that with us, Bucky, but I hear you.'

Bucky wasn't so sure. He liked Luke, but you didn't get where Luke was in the business without a lot of calculating and some of the EdgeHill maneuvering over the past few months had made him wonder.

Deacon finally arrived. He never was a big fan of these types of events, but he had to show Juliette some support. He had a soft spot for fighters- people like Juliette who kept pushing for their dreams and didn't let the past determine their future. Despite her petulance, he would always relate to Juliette on that level. He went over to congratulate her.

'So glad you're here, I know how you hate these things. I hear you're super busy, writin up a storm for Carrie. You're album's doin well too.'

'Thanks, Juliette. Great to see you back on top of the charts. You deserve it- you're a fighter and a damn good artist. Don't ever forget that.'

'I think you're the one who got me believin in myself, Deacon. I'll always remember that.'

'Awe, and sometimes you're even sweet . ' He laughed and gave her a hug.

'No I am truly happy for you. Now, how's things with Avery? '

'Well, i'm still workin on that. ' Juliette responded with some sadness in her face.

'Sometimes the only thing you can do is just work on yourself, and the rest will come, if it's meant to be.'

'I'll keep that mind.' Juliette tried to smile.

'Okay, now,go have some fun. This is your party!' Deacon chuckled, a little embarrassed having caught himself preaching a little too much. He had tendency to do that now and again.

'All right then. See ya.' As Juliette started walking away, Rayna became visible at the other side of the room. Deacon didn't know how to handle this now. He'd been on edge all day. He figured he was just confused about how to proceed with Rayna at this point.

Rayna took the first move and made her way over to Deacon. She gave him a kiss on the cheek. 'Well, I guess we could ignore each other all night, but that might seem strange.'

'Appearances aren't everything.'

Rayna caught some tension coming from Deacon's voice. 'Are you upset with me?

'I don't know Ray, it's just like Deja vu all over again. We'll talk some other time, kay? I don't think tonight's the night.'

'All right.'

'Hey, but I did want to ask, who's with the girls tonight? I assumed they were staying with Teddy, but when i talked to Maddie earlier she said Teddy wasn't gonna be with them. I don't feel great with the girls being on their own under the circumstances. I can always run over there.'

'No worries, Tandy came back from her trip early and she's staying at the house tonight.'

'Oh, good, that makes me feel better.' Rayna couldn't help but stare at Deacon. It was that proud, amazing, visceral feeling a mother feels when she notices the father of her children being protective and strong. It was the feeling a mother has when she looks at a man and thinks, 'I picked the right one. ' The first time she started to feel this way was at the Good Morning America interview, where Deacon humbled himself enough to praise Teddy on national tv for the sake of his daughter. But she'd been noticing this more and more.

Deacon noticed Rayna looking at him, 'What?'

'You're a good father, Deacon.' Deacon was surprised to hear Rayna say that.

He just looked at her and smiled. That was just about the best thing anyone had ever said to him.

'I'm not sure i've earned that yet, but that sure means a lot hearing you say that.' And with that, all of his frustration with Rayna dissipated. They locked eyes for a moment.

'Well, I have to go talk to Bucky.'

'Okay. Hey, I'm gonna stop by and check on the girls tonight anyway. Gives me a good excuse to leave a little early. You know how I hate these things.'

'Okay, thanks.' Deacon mingled for another hour or so and decided to go check on the girls.

It was getting late at the party and Rayna and Juliette were saying goodbye to guests. Rayna's phone buzzed. She let it go the first time. Then something made her look. There was a message from Sheriff Tom.

'Cover for me Juliette, I have to take this call.'

'Sheriff, this is Rayna James.'

'Ms. James, I need you to come to your house right away. There's been an incident. The girls and Tandy are fine, but you need to come now.'

She ran over to Bucky. 'Bucky, I have to go to the house. Something happened. That was the Sheriff.'

'Everyone okay?'

'I think so, but I need to go.'

'Go ahead, we've got it covered.'

'Rayna got into the car and went as fast as she could. She realized Deacon was going over there earlier. The Sheriff didn't mention anything about Deacon. She started to worry.

Rayna drove up to the house, which was circled with police cars. Tandy and the girls were outside on the driveway talking to Sheriff Tom.

'Momma!' Daphne ran over to Rayna. 'Oh, Mamma, Deacon's hurt!'

'What, what's goin on?' Maddie came over and gave her mother a big hug. She had tears falling down her cheek. Tandy ran over to join them.

'Oh, Rayna. I heard a raucaus at about 10:30 and went to the stairs and saw Deacon on the ground. I ran and got the phone and then all of a sudden a truck outside sped away and then sirens started comin down the street. I think Deacon ran into someone breaking into the house!'

'Sheriff Tom approached. Ms. James, could I speak to you privately please?'

'Sure.' She gave both girls a big hug. 'Oh, thank God you're all okay. And look, now your dad his here. 'Teddy, can you please take the girls to your place? I'll check on them later. I'll stay at Tandy's tonight.'

'They're okay but very upset. I need to talk to the Sheriff.' Tandy went with Teddy and the girls and filled him in on everything.

Ma'am, this is what we think happened. Mr. Claybourne called us at about 10:20 to report a suspicious vehicle near your home, went inside to check things out and either was attacked by the assailant or found him breaking in. He fought him off- it must've been quite a fight.-there's quite a bit of blood on the front entry and a bunch of broken glass- The assailant tried to drive away, but looks as if Mr. Claybourne broke the assailant's arm. He couldn't steer and the car went right off the road about 2 miles from here. We just recovered the vehicle and we have the assailant in custody. We found notes in the car matching the notes you've been receiving for the past few months.

'Oh my God! How's Deacon?'

'We don't know ma'am. He was unconscious when the paramedics took him to the hospital. I don't mean to scare you, but it looked bad. You should prepare yourself.'

Rayna phoned Tandy to fill her in. 'Hey, i'm gonna go check on Deacon at the hospital and then I'll call you. Tandy, how are the girls, are they holding up?

'Yes, they're okay. They're worried about Deacon. Here, Maddie wants to talk to you.'

'Please go see Deacon. Mom. You need to tell him we're okay. I saw them take him away in the ambulance but I didn't get to see him. Please, mom! I'm scared! '

'Okay, honey, I'll go right away. You don't know how relieved I am you're all okay.' More tears poured down her face. 'Deacon's strong, he's gonna be fine.'

Tandy took back the phone. 'They'll be okay, Rayna. Go check on Deacon.''

'Okay, I'll call you when I have more information.'

Everything was moving so quickly. Rayna had to take a deep breath. Suddenly all she could remember was her last kiss with Deacon. How safe she felt in his arms. A flash of fear struck her whole body, as she thought of the worst possible scenario. She refused to believe it could be true. Tears started streaming down her face. She ran to her car to get to the hospital as quickly as she could.

'Sheriff, can I leave? Yes, we'll wrap up our investigation here shortly, but we'll have someone here for the rest of the night. I'll call you and let you know when you can return safely.'

'Didn't you catch the guy? ' Rayna looked confused.

'Yes, but we need to confirm that he acted alone.'

_Oh, Lord_, Rayna thought. She didn't even want to contemplate that possibility.

'Okay. Thank you so much. Thank you! ' She got in the car and drove off.

She finally reached the hospital, parked as quickly as she could and ran into the main entrance. 'Can someone tell me where I can find Deacon Claybourne.'

'Hmm, yes ma'am. Let me look that up. Here we go. I believe he's on the third floor, ICU. You'll need to buzz in when you get there. Please sign your name here.'

'Can you tell me anything about his condition?'

'No ma'am, I'm not privy to that information. So, sorry'.

Rayna was almost panicking at this point. She just wanted someone to tell her he was okay.

She pressed the button on the door. The next 30 seconds seemed to last a lifetime. The door buzzed open. She was inpatient, trying to get the door to move faster. She saw two women at the desk wearing scrubs and signing charts. 'Hello, I'm looking for Deacon Claybourne. Can someone please, please tell me where his room is and how he's doin?'

'He's banged up pretty good ma'am but he should recover nicely. He'll be here for a few days- he's got a concussion, a few broken ribs. I hear he did a good job on that crook though.' The nurse smiled. She whispered to the doctor nearby 'always loved their music.''

Rayna hadn't felt this relieved since, well since she found out Maddie was okay after that random Juliette concert where she snuck out. She started crying again, but this time, from happiness.

'He's in room 326,down the hall to your right. I believe his niece is in there with him now. Ms. James, are you all right? Here are some tissues, ma'am.'

'I'll be fine now. It's been a terrible evening.' She walked down the hall and found the room. The door was closed. A shock of adrenaline got Rayna's heart racing as she anticipated seeing Deacon all banged up. She opened the door slowly. She saw his face, still that beautiful 5'oclock shadow, with some extra black and blue and a few cuts. She could see some of the tape around his chest, and an IV. He didn't look as bad as she had anticipated. Scarlett was there, sitting back with her eyes closed.

'Scarlett, you awake? '

"Yes, hi Rayna. You just missed him- he just fell back asleep a few minutes ago.' She noticed Rayna's worried look. "He's not as bad as they thought he would be. They've got an IV running for possible infections. He's got some bruised and fractured ribs,, so he'll take at least a month to recover, but doctors say he should be all right. "

'I'm just so grateful he's okay. No one could tell me how he was and for a moment I thought the worst...Whoa, doesn't matter now. Thank you, God!

'Deacon's tough, Rayna. You should'a seen what he survived as a kid...this is nothin.'

'Yeah, I remember those stories. He's tougher than I ever gave him credit for, that's for sure.'

'Why, I think you're right.' They both looked at each other and smiled. Rayna knew that Scarlett was protective of Deacon. She'd seen his heart in tatters more than once due to that woman.

"Rayna, would you like a few minutes alone with Deacon? "

"Yes, thank you, Scarlett

"I'm going to call my momma and let her know what's going on."

Rayna wiped the tears from her eyes, leaned forward and kissed Deacon's forehead, then took Deacon's hand into her own. "Deacon, I'm so grateful to you for being there and protecting my family...our family. Thank you with all my heart! Your such a strong man now, Deacon. I haven't been strong at all. I thought being strong meant learning to live without you. But now I think being strong means learning how to really love you. Deacon, I need you. I love you so much."

'Eh em' Scarlett waited for an appropriate time to come back in, and then opened the door. She was surprised at what she'd heard.

'Hi, Scarlett. I'm gonna go call Teddy so she can tell the girls Deacon will be fine. Deacon was a hero today, a regular hero.'

The girls were both sleeping in Teddy's bed. They were too scared to sleep alone. Teddy decided to wake them up just a little to give them the info. 'Girls, your mom said Deacon's asleep but doctors say he's going to be fine. Maddie, Deacon was a brave man today. I'm very grateful to him right now.' ' Maddie smiled a sigh of relief. 'Thank you for telling me. I love you, Daddy' She nodded right back off to sleep.

Teddy was surprised by his own reaction. Even he was relieved. Maddie couldn't take another loss right now. And even though it was uncomfortable for him, somehow it seemed Maddie was able to love them both. She was a pretty amazing young woman, he thought.

Rayna 's phone buzzed with a text from Luke. "Where are you? I got the news an hour agao and i'm flying in right now. You all right?'

'Yes, I'm fine, everyone's fine, but it's a long story. I'll probably be at Tandy's tonight, I can't stay in the house until the police give me the green light. I wouldn't want to, anyway. Come over when you get in.'

'Okay. Where are you now?'

'At the hospital but I'll be at Tandy's later.'

'Wait, the hospital? I thought you said you were fine. You sure you're okay?'

'Yes, I am, but Deacon was banged up pretty good. I'll explain later. See you when you get in.' Luke was confused and a little frustrated wondering why Deacon was in the mix yet again.

Rayna went back into the room. The doctor was there talking to Scarlett.

'He should be out the rest of the night. He's on pretty strong meds right now and he'll need his sleep. I suggest you all go home.

Rayna hesitated. 'Scarlett, I'll stay, I don't want him to be alone. '

'No, I'll Stay Rayna. You've had a very difficult night and I don't mind. I owe to Uncle Deacon for all he's done for me.'

'All right, I'll go to Tandy's then. Thank you ' Rayna realized she didn't have much choice- Luke was flying in any minute. 'If you need anything, or if anything changes, please, please call me right away.'

'I will, don't worry.' Rayna took her hand and gave her kiss on the cheek.

Tandy opened the door when she heard Rayna come up the steps. She gave Rayna a big hug. 'You doin okay?'

"I'll be all right. I should be asking the same of you?'

'A little brandy did the trick. Want some?

"Oh yes, please! And Luke called to tell me he's flying in tonight. I wouldn't be surprised if he's here in the next hour. I'll see if I can stay away. He and I need to talk.'

Tandy sat down on another chair next to Rayna. 'That sounds serious.'

'It is. This is not going to be good.' Rayna sat down, put her feet up and her head on a pillow and stared at the ceiling. 'It was so strange seeing Deacon like that- all banged up, so vulnerable. It scared me. A lot.'

'He was a brave man today. Never thought i'd see the day when I'd be grateful to Deacon Claybourne for my life. '

They hear a car drive up and then a knock on the door. Tandy opened the door for Luke.

'Hi, sweetie I heard you had a very rough evening.' and he gave Tandy a hug.

'I did. We all did. But it could've been much worse. I'm beat. I'm gonna go to bed. Rayna, don't stay up too late. I'll see you in the morning.'

'Night Tandy. '

Luke sat down next to Rayna. 'You look so drained, come here' Luke put his arm around Rayna to console her. 'Tell me what happened.'

'I got a call at Juliette's party around 10 or 10:30, from Sheriff Tom. He said the girls were fine but I needed to get to the house right away, because there was a breakin. So I ran over there, and turns out Deacon had stopped by the house to check on everyone and was attacked- looks like it was this guy who's been sending the hate mail. The alarm system had been disconnected. I don't even want to imagine what could'e happened if Deacon hadn't been there. But he got beat up pretty good. The guy tried to drive off, but was in pretty bad shape himself and ran the car off the road. The police caught up with him and he's in custody now. I'm kind of just in shock.'

'So that's where you were when I called, checking in on Deacon.'

'Yeah.

'Well, that's understandable. He gonna be okay?'

Yeah, he's got some cracked ribs, bad bruises and cuts. They put in an iv in case of infection, but they think he'll be fine.'

'Did anyone see the fight?'

'No, thank God no. Tandy woke up, but by the time she came down stairs, Deacon was already out cold and the guy was in his car. Maddie saw Deacon being taken by the paramedics though and that really freaked her out.'

'Well, I'm glad I came. This is pretty serious.'

'I'm glad, too. You know, I was going to suprise you and come down to Myrtle to see you this weekend. I wanted to talk. ' Rayna sat up, moving to the side of the couch, creating some distance between her and Luke.

'What is it, Darlin? '

'This is hard to say, and this is a strange time, but I just need to say it. I can't marry you, Luke. She took Luke's hand and put the engagement ring in it.

'What, did I hear that right? Honey, you said yourself you're in shock. This might not be a good time...'

'No, this is the perfect time. Tonight was just a reminder of how fragile life can be. I don't want to go on lying about how I feel about this...'

'If it's about the wedding, heck small is fine with me don't get hung up on that.' Luke was flustered.

'That's only part of it. Honey we want different things. We're very different people. If we'd given each other more time, i think we would've realized that. If you'd asked me to marry you when we weren't on stage in front of thousands of people, I would've wanted time to think about it, for us to get to know each other more.'

'This is about Deacon, isn't it. I knew it when you were in the hospital with him. You're still in love that guy. Geese, Rayna, it's hard to believe you're that stupid.'

'I made this decision over a week ago, before any of this happened. I was just waiting for the right time. ' Rayna was a little annoyed with his comment, but she saw the hurt in Luke's face and stayed calm.

'So this has nothing to do with him.' Luke looked at her with disbelief.

'Luke, you're not listening.'

'And you're not answering my question!' Luke was getting inpatient.

'I'm not gonna lie to you., I owe you that much. I love Deacon, Luke. I don't think that's ever gonna change.'

'All right, I've heard enough. Rayna, I'm just thinking you've been shaken up by all this and you're gonna call me in the morning like this never happened. But if you don't call me, we're done. Done, Rayna. '

Luke's face was red as a beat. He mumbled as he walked out the door, 'I can't believe what i'm hearing.'

Rayna sat on the couch for a few minutes, a few tears streaming down her cheeks. She hated hurting him like that. She put her head down, and before she knew it, she was fast asleep.

Tandy came down in the morning to make coffee. She saw Rayna on the couch still and put a blanket over her. She couldn't help but overhear some the conversation with Luke last night. She didn't envy Rayna at that moment.

A few minutes later, Rayna woke up. Tandy noticed how tired Rayna looked. 'How are you? '

'That had to be one of the worst nights of my life. I broke his heart, Tandy. I haven't cried this much since daddy died.'

'Maybe you were overdue. Still, you're pretty calm, given everything that just happened.'

'I am. I see things so clearly now.'

'You ended it with Luke? Completely?'

'Yes.'

'And i'm guessing you're seeing things with Deacon pretty clearly now, too.'

' I love Deacon, Tandy and I think I just always will. I keep fighting it, and I don't want to anymore. I think i've just been afraid of what everyone would think.'

Why do you think it will be different than before? It's such a risk, Rayna. And what about the girls?!'

' We don't have any more secrets. And I think we're both stronger people now. I mean we're gonna need to work on it, get to know each other again. I realize there are no guarantees. But look at last night, look at daddy, Peggy. There never are! Why live life always waiting for the worst thing to happen? I need to focus on all the good stuff I already have in my life, including the people I love. I have so much, Tandy! "

Tandy walked over and gave her a hug. 'All right, well i'll be here for you. I certainly owe Deacon a debt of gratitude after last night. Looks like all that bar-fightn' from the old days finally came in handy for him last night!'

'I'm sure that will be funny to me at some point. ' Tandy looked at her. 'Okay, that' is kinda funny.' And they both laughed.

'I gotta get something to eat and get over to the hospital to see Deacon.'

'All right. Help yourself.'

Rayna brought flowers to the hospital, but when she walked into the room there were already so many there. Flowers from Juliette, flowers from Carrie Underwood, flowers from... Tandy even.

'Can I come in?'

'Hey, Rayna.' Scarlett replied. She looked like someone who'd just slept in a hospital room... tired.

'How is he?'

'I spoke to him for 5 minutes earlier this morning. Told him you were here last night. He smiled. Well he tried to smile. I bet he'll be up soon. I'll go get some breakfast and you can have some time alone.'

'Okay. Thanks.' She put her arm on Scarlett's shoulder. She really appreciated getting to know Scarlett on another level over the past year. She really was a sweet young woman, and with so much talent. She hoped she would sing again somehow.

Deacon's eyes opened. Rayna was holding his hand.

'Hey, there.' Deacon replied with a smile.

'Hi.' Rayna smiled back. 'Listen, I need to tell you something. We're all so grateful to you for protecting the girls last night, and Tandy. Even Teddy is grateful to you.'

'It's okay, ' Deacon whispered.

'No, it's more than okay.' Tears started to fall again from Rayna's eyes. 'Last night there was a moment when I thought I might lose you forever and that thought almost killed me. I love you so much .' She sat up and kissed Deacon on the forehead again. 'Deacon, I told Luke I can't marry him and I gave back his ring.' She leaned over him and this time gave him a soft, gentle kiss on the lips. A tear fell onto Deacon's cheek.

Deacon squeezed her hand and said with as much strength as he could, 'Rayna, I love you, too and the girls, sooo much.'

'I know, babe, I know. You know what else I know? We're gonna learn to love each other right this time. It might not always be pretty, but we've gotta try.' Deacon turned his head as much as he could towards Rayna, and smiled until it hurt.

'That's all I ever wanted, Ray. See, I told you this is where we're supposed to be.'

Rayna rolled her eyes and laughed a little, then gave him another kiss.

'Okay, you rest now. I'm not goin anywhere. '

Deacon let his eyes close, but the smile never left his face.


	7. Growing Up is Hard to Do Chapter 7

Growing Up is Hard to Do Chapter 7 ('Pillars of Society')

The bright camera lights almost made his eyes water. He was exhausted from the last 36 hours since the incident at the house. He'd barely gotten any sleep, but this was the job of the Mayor. When the family of the Mayor is assaulted, it's public news.

'I'm here just to give a short briefing on the break-in attempt at the home of my former wife, Rayna James and our two children. This happened Saturday evening, somewhere between 10:15-10:30 when my daughters were at the home with the aunt Tandy. Rayna was at the launch for Highway 65 artist Juliette Barnes, and I was at the Habitat for Humanity Fundraiser downtown. The alleged assailant, who is now in police custody but whose name is being held confidential, tried to break into the home. Fortunately for my family, Deacon Claybourne had stopped by to check on the kids, found the perpetrator and fought him off. Deacon was emitted to the hospital that evening with severe injuries, but is expected to have a full recovery. The Conrad family is extremely grateful to him for his bravery and strength on that evening. Tandy, Rayna and the girls are all fine. As you all know, my family has experienced quite a few losses over the past few years and this is another challenging time. We would greatly appreciate respect for our privacy.'

'Mayor Conrad, Mayor Conrad...we heard your family had been receiving hate mail for some time. Is this the guy? Did they catch the suspect?'

'Yes, the police believe this is the same person who was sending the threats, but there is still more investigating going on to confirm tha. 'Thank you, I won't be taking any more questions today.'

And now here he was, a few hours later, standing outside Deacon's hospital room, figuring out what exactly he was going to say. It was such a confusing time for him. He kept feeling like he was losing his girls to this man who once couldn't handle even the slightest bit of controversy without completely losing his cool and turning to booze. Yet this man was now the person who possibly just saved the lives of the two most important people in his heart. He felt like he'd be a lesser man if he didn't thank him in person.

He knocked and came in. The nurse was just leaving. Deacon was sitting up. He'd watched the press conference earlier that morning.

'Hi, Deacon, I hope it's okay that I stopped by. Don't want to put you into cardiac arrest or anything.'

Deacon laughed a little. 'It's okay, just don't make me laugh again- that hurts like hell. Anyhow, Rayna was here earlier and told me you might stop by.'

'Oh, right... sorry, ' Teddy smiled.

'Look, I just need to shake your hand and let you know I am truly grateful. If anything had happened to my girls..'. Teddy's eyes welled up a bit.

'Hey, you'd have done the same thing, Teddy. I'm no hero. I just did what any one of us would do. We've all had to step up at different times now, haven't we? ' He looked Teddy right in the eyes so Teddy would know exactly what he was saying. It couldn't have been easy for Teddy all those years, standing by Rayna, knowing Deacon was traveling with her all the time. He wasn't sure he would've handled that scenario so well. In fact, he knew that at the time, he certainly couldn't have if the tables had been turned.

'Yeah. I guess so.' Teddy was surprised by Deacon's acknowledgement. 'Well, if you need anything, transportation while you're recovering, anything, just let me know. It's the least I can do.'

'All right. You know the only thing I'd really like is for the girls to visit a bit when Rayna's on tour. That would keep my spirits up. I'd really appreciate that.'

'I'm sure we can arrange a few visits.'

'Thank you, Teddy. That means a lot.' And finally, the two shook hands before Teddy left.

Later that day Rayna came in with the girls. They'd waited a day so Deacon would be able to sit up and talk a little. He didn't want to frighten them too much.'

Rayna brought the girls in the room, 'Hi, Dad! Hi Uncle Deacon!' the girls shouted enthusiastically. ' Dad, thank God you're okay! Are you in pain? When do you get to go home?' Maddie asked.

'I'll come home in a few days. The doctors just need to keep an eye on me to make sure I keep getting better. If there's no more problems, then I'll be home by the end of the week. And, you two will have to come visit me, especially when your momma's away. Your dad said that would be okay.'

'We will. Daphne and I can come take care of you on the weekends. '

'Well, I do think i'll need some takin' care of , won't I? ' Deacon smiled.

'Ooh, we can have tea!' Daphne added. They all laughed.

'Oh, Ouch. - Now you can't go making me laugh, it hurts! ' Deacon replied. And they all laughed some more.

The next morning, Rayna was almost finished making phone calls in preparation for going on tour the next week. The band was ready, arenas were selling out. And thank God she and Luke never booked those shows together. They'd almost managed to arrange a weekend of shows in New York to perform together, but their agents couldn't get the scheduling right. Rayna wondered if Bucky hadn't been the main obstacle. He was always cautious about Luke- even more so about Edgehill. He just didn't like mixing business with those folks. She was lucky to have Bucky. He'd come through for her so many times. And that's why she needed to call him now.

'Hey, Bucky. Everything's looking good. You've done a great job, again! Don't know how you do it, but we always seem to land on top. '

'Thanks, Rayna. I think that mostly has to do with you, but I'll take the compliment.'

'So, I need to update you on some things, Bucky.'

_Uh, oh, _Bucky thought to himself. Just when everything was going so well.

'I broke it off with Luke over the weekend.'

'Ah, I see. I guess I saw that coming. I'm sorry. How are you managing? Between that and everything last weekend, I almost can't believe you're still standing .'

'Well, believe it or not, I'm feeling more grounded than I have in a long time. Can't quite explain it.' That wasn't completely true. She knew she was feeling relieved about calling off the wedding with Luke.

'Okay, that's good, but how did you and Luke leave it? Are you going to put out a release? Word is gonna get out soon. Do you know if Luke has told anyone yet?'

'We didn't get that far. It didn't go very smoothly.'

That's what Bucky was concerned might happen. 'You need to talk to him, Rayna, and see if you can agree on a statement. If you're not comfortable with that, then I will work it out with his agent. You may have to take the fall on this one to get him to agree on something.'

'I've left a couple of messages with him this morning, but he hasn't called me back. '

'All right, then I'm gonna take this on. I'll keep you posted.'

'Sorry, Bucky, I know this was the last thing you wanted to hear.'

'Hey, it's my job, Rayna. And it's a great job, always.' He really did love Rayna, almost like a daughter. He'd seen her go through so much over the years. She was one of the strongest women he'd ever known, but also one of the most complicated.

Later that afternoon, Rayna went over to see Deacon at the hospital. She was eager to see him settled at home before she would leave for the tour.

'So, you'll be out of here tomorrow afternoon, right? '

'Yes, it seems so.'

'You know i'd love to be the one to bring you home, but the press would probably be all over that.'

'Yep, I already thought of that. I talked to Scarlett. She's taking me home. She'll stay with me for a few days till I can get out of bed myself. Speaking of the press...'

'Yes? '

'I can't imagine this is gonna go down well with Luke or Teddy- I mean, us being together. You know that, right? You know this isn't gonna be a walk in the park, you and me trying to make this work?'

'You lookin for a way out?' Rayna asked with a confused look on her face.

'No ma'am. Absolutely not!' Deacon took her hand and kissed it. No, i've never been more certain about anything, but I'm not naive about what might come up with this- especially for you. It could even be hard on Highway 65.'

'Bucky's working out a press release with Luke's agent now. The album is selling off the charts, Juliette's song is doing great. I think we have too much momentum now, but I realize Luke could make that go south pretty quickly I suppose if he wanted to. I just can't worry about that- I'll do my best to mend fences, but I have to live my life, do what's best for me and the girls.'

Deacon was so proud that Rayna thought being with him was best for her family.

'You and I need to figure some things out, too. He looked at her- directly into her eyes. 'This won't work if we keep secrets Rayna. You have to trust me. You have to have faith. You can't keep things from me 'cause you worry I might drink again. You have to trust that I'll be okay, that the girls will be okay.'

'I know, honey.'

'You know, before the accident, I was sober for you- you were my motivation. But that's not how it is anymore. I see the bigger picture. I'm doin this for myself, for what I want outta life. And that's why i feel stronger, that's why I have faith that I can do this and we can do this together.'

Rayna continued to look at him, with both hands on his now. 'I do, too.'

'And now I have to be honest with you. This is what you know and this is probably what you fear most, so we have to get it out in the open.' He knew her. He knew how much anxiety the possibility of his drinking had caused her in the past, and that it could be their undoing again.

Rayna looked down. She was a little afraid of what was coming next. 'Look up here, Ray. You need to look me in the eyes. Common.' After a deep breath, finally, she looked up.

'That's still no guarantee. It's still one day at a time for me. And that means you need to promise me something. You need to promise me that if I can't hold up my end, that you will take care of yourself and the girls. You can't get in a car with me, or chase me down trying to change things. That's out of your hands. You're not responsible for my drinkin. You never have been. You understand what i'm saying? If i'm drunk on the side of the road, you walk away. It's out of your hands at that point. You pray and you walk away. You and the girls, your safety comes first."

Rayna looked at Deacon. She had tears in her eyes. This brought back some painful memories.

'Are you strong enough to do that, Ray? 'Cause that's what I think it means for you to be strong enough to love me. '

'You know, I haven't ever had much faith in God. But over the past year, i've found myself so grateful. So grateful to be alive. And once again, some angel was looking out for the ones I love most and here we are. I'm gonna do my best, Deacon, I promise. I think we'll need to take this step by step. I love you too much not to try. '

'We can do that. We can certainly do that.'

'Do you think I can scoot on here and lie next to you for a little while?'

'Why I think that's just what the doctor ordered.' and he smiled. She got up on the bed, on her side and just put her head across from his. She kissed his lips gently. ' I love you' she whispered. ' I love you, too.' Rayna closed her eyes and took Deacon's hand into hers and they both nodded off for a while.

The next morning, Rayna was woken up by a text "It'll be ready by noon. Come pick it up.' She was so excited. The girls and she had a special gift for Deacon. She was eager to see Deacon all settled into his place before she had to go on tour. Being stuck there was going to drive him crazy, but she knew this would make it a little easier. She thought she'd call Deacon just to tease him a bit.

"Hey, Ray."

'Hi, you gettin excited about coming home today?' Rayna asked.

"Yes, sure am. Couldn't stand another day in this damn hospital. Not sure how i'll survive two weeks at the house either, but that's better than here.'

'Sorry we won't see you till tomorrow, but you know how crazy the girls schedules get. '

'That's all right. I can't wait though. Can't wait to see all of you again.'

Rayna felt a little bad misleading Deacon this way, but his reaction later would be worth it. She'd thought a lot about their conversation in the hospital the day before. Deacon was right. She kept asking herself if she could do it differently- if she could actually let him go if he went off the wagon again. Since the accident, she'd realized more than ever that her life had value- for herself and for her children, and that for them she'd always be strong. She had to believe she could do it. She hadn't made it this far only to fail.

Later that afternoon, Scarlett and Deacon drove up to the house. Scarlett helped Deacon get out of the car.He couldn't get up or down without serious pain. Plus, he refused to bring any pills home with him, so he was going cold turkey off the pain meds.

'All right, I think I got this now. Thank you, Scarlett, I really appreciate it. Gosh, what the heck am I gonna do for two weeks sitting at home?!" Deacon asked with frustration. Doctors told him he had to stay pretty immobilized for two more weeks. After about a month or so, if the pain was manageable, he might be able to go back to performing.

'Well, you'll manage. I'll visit you, the girls will visit you. Just think of it as great writin' time.'

'Yep, guess so. I'll get some friends to help me get to some meetings, too. '

'Good idea.' Scarlett replied. She tried to hide the smile on her face in anticipation of Rayna's surprise.

She brought Deacon up to the house. She had to help him up the stairs. 'Man, this is a little embarrassing if I do say so myself.' Scarlett laughed. Deacon was not one to accept help too easily. This must've been humbling for him to say the least.

They finally reached the top step, when suddenly, Maddie opened the door. 'Surprise!"

Deacon was stunned. ' Hey, hey. Now what's this? I thought you two were...

Rayna stepped out and chimed in. 'Nope, we're just here, celebrating your homecoming, getting things ready for you. Come on in!' Daphne ran over to Deacon.' Now remember, Daphne, gentle, gentle hugs. " Rayna added. 'Hi, Deacon!" 'Oh, love, so good to see you! You have no idea!'

He walked in the living room and started to head for his bedroom when Maddie said, 'Look over here, Dad." Deacon turned his head. He could not believe his eyes. On top of the mantle hung a full size portrait of the photograph Maddie had given to him and Rayna-the photo of the 4 of them on the stage at Fort Campbell .

He was stunned and so touched that he didn't have words. He looked at Rayna, who was beaming from ear to ear.

'I don't know what to say. No, I've got it. I am just the luckiest and happiest man in the world right now. ' He gave them each a kiss. 'Come over here, Daphne would you please? Let me lean on you just a bit.' She laughed and came to Deacon so he could put his hand on her shoulder and bend down to sit on the couch. 'I'm just gonna sit here for a few minutes and enjoy the view. Who wants to join me?' And they all sat down.

_"Two Arms Around me, Heaven to ground me and family that always calls me home. Four wheels to get there, enough love to share and sweet, sweet, sweet song. At the end of the day, Lord I pray, I have a life that's good.'_


	8. Chapter 8

**Growing Up Is Hard to Do - Chapter 8 FINALE "Living La Vida Loca"**

Sorry, I caught a major snafu in the story and had to edit and repost (even though I'd edited several times before posting the first time).

Okay, this is the last chapter for me in this Rayna/Deacon series. This is a little tongue and cheek, so I hope you have fun with it. Of course, for true Dayna fans, lol, a story couldn't possibly end without a good love scene. So, here it goes. Let me know what you think. THANKS! (And Happy Father's Day to all you American dads out there!)

**######**

Maddie and Deacon were putting the dishes in the dishwasher after dinner.

"Dad, Mom was really short with me today on the phone. I think something's bothering her."

"Really? Hmm. I kind of noticed that too when I talked to her yesterday. It's not easy being on the road- especially when she has to leave her girls behind."

"I wish she could visit more. Two weekends in three months isn't very much time." Maddie kept cleaning.

"Yep, you're right, it's not." Deacon looked at Maddie, noticing she was a little sad. Rayna had been home three weeks ago and wasn't scheduled to be back for a few more weeks. Her timing was bad- Deacon had pulled a muscle in his back when he was cleaning the house preparing for her visit. By the time Rayna came home he was barely able to move. There was a lot of frustration building up.

To make matters worse, Deacon and Rayna had planned a romantic evening together without the girls. Instead, they watched a movie and Rayna had to help Deacon get around the house. He felt so silly. Rayna was incredibly sweet. She still felt terrible about his injury and reminded herself that thanks to him, her kids and her sister were safe and sound. But she couldn't hide her disappointment, either. She was really looking forward to some rest and some quality time with the girls and with Deacon. She and Deacon had only had a few days together before she left on tour, and Deacon was mostly bedridden and she was busy getting ready for the road.

Deacon had another doctor's visit scheduled this week. He was feeling great, finally. It may've been a blessing in disguise that he pulled that muscle. It forced him to rest more and might have sped up the healing process. He was hoping the doctors would give him the green light to get back to life as usual. He'd heard that if you could do push-ups and sit-ups without pain, you were in good shape- in fact, good enough shape to do just about anything. He'd have to wait and see, but in the meantime he was formulating a plan.

He went into his room and grabbed his cell. "Bucky, hey it's Deacon. How's Rayna holding up? Maddie said she was upset on the phone."

"Yeah, she's pretty tense. I've seen her like this before- a few times, but not many. This is a long tour for her. I think she really just wants to be home. She's pulling it off though, doing great. But once she's off the stage, watch out."

"All right. Thanks. If you need anything, let me know. Hey, you've got Chicago next weekend, right?"

"Yep, why?"

"Oh, no reason. Just curious."

Bucky had a feeling there was more to it. He could sense it in Deacon's voice. He wanted Deacon to be very careful. Their agreement with Luke was that neither Luke or Rayna could go public with another relationship for about three months- which meant after the end of Rayna's tour. Rayna had agreed to it, knowing that Luke was trying to save face. She figured she owed him that much for breaking his heart. But it was hard. She and Deacon couldn't really be seen anywhere in public together without causing speculation, so they'd been keeping everything on the down low.

But to their closest friends and family, Rayna and Deacon were very open about their relationship. The girls were ecstatic, especially Maddie. Daphne was a little sad about Luke, but she adored Uncle Deacon and the idea of being able to spend more time with him made her happy, too. Teddy was unnerved, but eventually softened- he was now dating a woman who had young children of her own and so he felt he wasn't in a position to complain. Bucky, well, he just went along for the ride, praying that Rayna would survive the scandal.

Deacon had indeed hatched a plan. He went back into the kitchen. Maddie was sitting on the couch reading a book.

"You still worried about your momma?" Deacon asked.

"Yeah, a little. Just looking forward to her being back home."

"Me, too. Me, too. I'm gonna head to bed. Don't stay up too late now. You don't wanna be too tired next week for that big spring break trip of yours with your daddy & Daphne." Teddy was taking the girls for a two week trip to the Virgin Islands.

"I know, I can't wait! Good night." Deacon walked over and kissed Maddie good night and then went to bed.

Fortunately, that week Deacon got the news he'd been waiting for. The doctors said his recovery was going exceptionally well and he was ready to get back to life as usual. As soon as he was done with his appointment, Deacon started working on his plans to meet up with Rayna in Chicago. Screw Luke, he could figure out how to make this happen without anyone finding out. Deacon really wanted to make it up to Rayna. He wanted to make her feel special. He wanted to show her that he really did 'know how to love' her now in more ways than one. And he wanted to be sure she never regretted choosing him over Luke.

He knew she loved him, and that money wasn't a factor, but he also knew that she was a big league music star- 'Queen of Country Music' -in fact, not to mention the CEO of her own label, so he felt he should step it up a bit. He needed to show her he could give her what she needed. He'd been wondering what he would do with the royalty checks from the two Carrie Underwood singles. Now he knew.

As soon as he got home he booked the flight to Chicago, but he was going to need a little inside help to see this through.

"Hey, Bucky. I need your help with something. I just booked a flight to Chicago for Saturday. I'm gonna surprise Rayna."

"Now wait Deacon, you have to be really careful, I negotiated that deal..."

Deacon interrupted "I know, I know Bucky. No one's gonna know but you, me and Rayna, okay? Now, Rayna's staying at the Trump International, right? You know the manager, I imagine?"

"Yes, but..."

"This is where I need your help. You just need to get him to let me come up and then leave through the employee entrance. I've been around the block enough, Bucky, to know there's always a way to get in without anyone knowing."

"Okay, I can do that" Bucky replied.

"And then we'll need to move Rayna's things to her new room."

"New room?"

'Yep. I booked the penthouse for the night."

"You did what?"

"Yep, I've got it all worked out. You just need to get some help moving Rayna's things Saturday when she's settin up for the show. That way she won't know until you hand her the room key during her break. Oh, and you'll need to book the press interviews for Friday and Sunday, not Saturday, okay? I want her to be able to come up right after the show Saturday night."

There was silence on the other end of the line. Deacon thought perhaps he was being too demanding. He didn't want to make Bucky angry. That would totally backfire.

"If you can do that, that is. I'd really, really appreciate it. I know if there's anyone who can make these things happen, it's you, Bucky."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right." Bucky was getting a little exasperated.

"Now Bucky, you know I just want to help Rayna get through the last few weeks of the tour. Right? This is Rayna James we're talking about, isn't it?"

Bucky was almost embarrassed by the conversation, but Deacon, that son of a gun, sure knew that woman, he thought to himself.

"All right. I don't know whether to thank you or shoot you." Bucky shrugged on the other line.

"I prefer the former," Deacon chuckled.

"Well, if we can pull this off, then everyone will be happy."

"That's the plan! You got it! I knew you'd understand." Bucky could just picture that sly grin of Deacon's.

"I'll text you once I get confirmation from the manager."

"Okay, sounds good." Deacon hung up the phone and left to run some errands.

Deacon was settled into the hotel room and the last staffers had finally gone. They were done bringing all of Rayna's things up to the room. Deacon figured he had about two hours before Rayna would get there. This was a totally amazing room. He'd actually only been in a penthouse suite a few times, mostly in Vegas, and usually on someone else's dime. This was definitely impressive- an incredible view and a gorgeous patio with a pool and jacuzzi.

It took Deacon a little getting used to. This was not his usual scene- waiting in some fancy, high end hotel room for his woman to get home, setting up candles and flowers. He laughed at his own thoughts. _Not in a million years. he thought to himself, not in a million years. _

But not in a million years did he really imagine he and Rayna would be back together after the accident last year. So he wanted to show Rayna he understood her and that he appreciated her and how hard she works.

He'd finished putting their clothes away. Then he put some French cheese and a sliced up baguette on a plate and added some grapes. He set it all up nicely on one of the tables outside on the patio with a bottle of sparkling water. Not exactly champagne but Rayna was gonna have to get used to that, at least around him. Next, he was figuring out what he wanted the setting to be when Rayna walked through the door. He could go for it -birthday suit in one of those huge terry cloth robes. He smirked, saying aloud to himself_, Lord, Deacon, that is too darn cheesy, you are not doin that. _

Then he thought_ Maybe a nice jacket. A woman like Rayna would want you to look sharp. Maybe. Maybe not. Don't let that movie star image fool you, Deacon Claybourne. You know what Rayna wants- _and it wasn't fancy clothes. He decided to stop talking to himself , take a shower, relax, and bide his time. It would all come together.

Back at the show, Rayna was getting her final makeup and dress change for the last set. Bucky walked over and handed her a note in an envelope.

"What's this?" Rayna asked.

"Oh, just something from a special admirer. I'd read it now though, before you go out on stage."

"What?"Rayna laughed. "Okay."

She read the note

_Can't wait to see you after the show, sweetheart. Don't forget to ask Bucky for your new room key. Love, Deacon_

"Heather, could you give me and Bucky a few minutes please?"

"Sure." Heather stopped working on Rayna's hair and left the dressing room.

"Is this what I think, Bucky?"

"Yep, oh, and here's your room key. Deacon booked the penthouse suite."

Rayna's eye's blew up and she smiled from ear to ear.

"You're pullin my leg, no?"

"No, I'm not. But don't get too happy or people will get suspicious. They won't recognize you."

"Oh, Bucky, I'm sorry, I know i've been a pain in the patootie lately. But oh, my gosh, I cannot believe it! That rascal!" Bucky laughed. Deacon was right. Those two sure fit like a glove.

"No press interviews tonight either. You're free to go right after the set."

Rayna hugged Bucky. "I know Deacon didn't do this all on his own. Was it his idea or yours?

"His, completely his."

"Thank you, Bucky! You're always there for me and I know it."

"All right now, you go have a good time. Don't forget, you need to be back here by 3 tomorrow." Bucky said with a serious look on his face.

"Okay, will do." Rayna could only imagine how Deacon talked Bucky into this. She smiled to herself.

"Shoot, Heather, common in, I need to wrap up this show! This is gonna be the best set _ever." _And boy did she kill it on stage. Her energy level was off the charts and she was charming the entire audience. And when the encores were over, she ran off the stage like a bat out of hell.

Rayna practically stumbled into the dressing room. "Hey, Heather, can you help me undo this hair? Then I need you to tell Juliette I was too tired after the show to go out. I'll see her tomorrow afternoon. I'm gonna go rest. Just have the worst headache!"

Heather was surprised. "You coulda fooled me. You were great out there tonight."

"Thank you, you're sweet. But I gotta get going." Rayna picked up her coat and her purse, got in her car asked the driver to take her to the hotel.

She finally reached the penthouse. She opened the door slowly, so curious what she would find. She didn't see Deacon.

"Hello! " she called, thinking Deacon would respond. The living room was right out of Architecture magazine. Slick, clean geometric shaped modern furniture with a full glass facade onto the patio. There were a few candles lit here and there, giving the place a serene glow. Through the glass she could see a small pool with steam floating across. It was a cool night, but not bad for May in Chicago. _This is heaven_, she thought to herself. There was a bouquet of roses and a big note on the table with a neon arrow on it, making it obvious it was for her to read.

"Hmmm, let's see" Rayna started to read the note. When she got closer she realized the note was actually a medical receipt from Deacon's doctors office. It read "Clean bill of health. Advise return to normal activity. Stay healthy, good diet, lots of exercise."

The arrow pointed down towards the glass facade. Beneath the arrow she read "I'm in the jacuzzi. Don't run, walk...lol" Rayna started to laugh. Then she sauntered towards the patio and threw her jacket onto the couch and kicked off her heals. She found the door and looked straight ahead but still didn't see Deacon. But he saw her and shouted "Over here, Ray."

He was sitting on the side of the jacuzzi in his bathing suit with his feet in the water. Next to the jacuzzi was the table with the food and Perrier.

"Well, this is a side of you, Deacon Claybourne, I haven't experienced before. But I sure like it." Rayna said with a smile on her face and that 'come here' look in her eyes.

"You gonna take that dress off and join me, or what?" Deacon asked.

"I am but I'm gonna need a little help with this zipper ." Rayna replied seductively.

Deacon stood up onto the cement and walked over to Rayna. "I can help with that." He slowly unzipped her dress as he kissed her neck and shoulders and whispered longingly into her ear "I thought you'd never get here." The dress fell to the ground.

Deacon held out his hand, "Common, Ray, let's go in."

He took her hand and they stepped into the jacuzzi together. Deacon sat down and pulled Rayna to him. She wrapped her legs around his waste.

"Clean bill of health, huh?" Rayna asked.

Deacon smiled "Yup, everything's workin."

"I can tell," Rayna replied. It was a night they would never forget.

Deacon's eyes opened around 9am the next morning. Rayna's left arm was wrapped around his chest along with her long, flowing strawberry blond hair . Deacon kissed her head. "Hey, Darlin." Rayna looked up at him,

'Morning. "

'And a good morning it is," Deacon replied.

"Yes it sure is." Rayna laughed and moved up to kiss him. " I don't want this day to end."

"Me either, sweetheart, me either." Deacon kissed her back.

"How'd you get Bucky to agree to all this." Rayna asked.

"I think it had something to do with alleviating that bad mood you've been in over the past few weeks." Deacon laughed.

"Oh, mean you were just taking pity on me?"

"No, pity on Bucky and the crew."

Rayna laughed and hit is arm." I wasn't that bad!"

"That's not what Bucky said," Deacon giggled.

"Well, I guess that just shows how much I missed you." Rayna reached up and kissed him again.

"The feeling's mutual Darlin."

"We're doing pretty good for some old mid-lifers, aren't we?"

"Yeah, I guess not too bad. Not if last night counts for anything," Deacon smiled. He reached over and took a sip of water from the night stand.

"You think we'll be doin this when we're 80?" Rayna asked.

Deacon nearly spit out his water, laughing. "I don't know, but I'd sure like to find out! " He put the cup back down on the table. "And with that in mind..."

Deacon leaned over and kissed her lips, then moved slowly down to her stomach, tickling her in her soft spots.

"Yeah," Rayna replied, giggling. "Let's definitely find out."


End file.
